Approximately one billion people across the globe live with a form of disability, and yet, speaking out about issues that pertain to people with disabilities is still surrounded by a sort of taboo. Today, during a time of social unrest and a worldwide health crises, it's more important than ever to practice being an ally for those who are less privileged in our society.
At W.A.G.S. 4 Kids, we work with children who battle everything from developmental and learning disorders to physical disabilities. These children each face different challenges, but one thing remains true for them all: they deserve every opportunity to live life as fully as their able-bodied peers. If you consider yourself an able-bodied individual, it's up to you to become a better ally for others who face challenges different than your own.
What it means to be an ally
The term "ally" has become quite popular over the past few years when discussing social issues. You've probably heard it used in relation to the Black Lives Matter movement, or have heard someone describe themselves as an "LGBTQ+ ally." The term can also be used to describe someone who supports the rights of people with disabilities.
"An ally is someone who supports and advocates for the equality, equity, dignity, and rights of oppressed people groups of which they are not a part. An ally is also someone who challenges people and systems who, consciously or unconsciously, perpetuate oppression against those oppressed groups."
Although the world is more accommodating and accessible to people with disabilities than in the past, there is still much work to be done. Discrimination against people with disabilities exists in both major and minor ways. Whether this looks like being passed up for a job opportunity due to a disability, or simply being misunderstood or mislabeled by others, it's partly our responsibility to ensure that we do whatever is in our power to abolish the oppression faced by those with disabilities.
Here are a few ways that you can be a better ally for individuals with disabilities:
1. Practice being a good listener
Every single individual who has a disability will have a different experience. One of the most common mistakes an ally can make is to assume that they understand what an oppressed individual has experienced. As an ally, your job is to help amplify the voices of people with disabilities, not to assume that you know what is best, or that you completely understand their experience and struggles.
Listening is essential to understanding. Take time to listen to what people with disabilities have to say about what they have faced in the past and are still facing today. This will help open your eyes to their life and help you understand the kinds of oppression and injustices that you have to help stand up against.
2. Educate yourself and understand your privilege
It's important for an ally to arm themselves with knowledge. Becoming acquainted with the challenges that disenfranchised groups have faced in the past will help you better understand the progress that has been made towards equality - and the progress that still needs to be made. During this education process, try to self-reflect and realize what advantages you may have had during your life that others have not.
For example, reading about laws about wheelchair access can help you become aware of some of the challenges wheelchair users may face on a daily basis.
After educating yourself, attempt to educate others whenever possible. If you're a parent, know that teaching acceptance and understanding to the next generation begins with you! What parents of children with disabilities want you to know is that their child is seeking the same things any able-bodied or neuro-typical child: friendship, fun, and acceptance.
If you're out with your child and you see another child in a wheelchair or a child who is exhibiting stimming behaviors, it's perfectly okay to ask that child's parents if your family can say "hello!" Teach your child that finger-pointing isn't polite, but also let them know that while other people may need a walker to move or may have stimming behaviors, they are just as deserving of respect and kindness as anyone else!
3. Curb your assumptions
No matter how much you educate yourself, remember not to assume that you know everything that there is to know about someone's disability. Everyone approaches their disability in their own personal way. People can have experiences, diagnoses, treatments, symptoms, coping mechanisms, and more that are unique to their own life - and their life alone. Two people diagnosed with autism may have different sensory needs, two people with cerebral palsy may have different mobility issues, and so on.
It's okay to be curious and have questions about disabilities - but remember to ask rather than assume! More often than not, there will be people out there willing to answer your questions in ways that are both respectful and insightful.
4. Adjust your language - and your thinking
You've likely heard the statement that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." However, this just isn't true. Words can hurt. Many of those with disabilities have faced prejudice, stereotypes, and outward cruelty from others just because of their disability. In order to build a more inclusive world, we need to work toward making not only our actions inclusive - but making sure that our words are inclusive as well.
The first step is to remove harmful words from our vocabulary. Referring to someone as a 'retard,' 'victim,' or 'cripple' isn't acceptable.
What many people with disabilities want you to know is that they are so much more than their disability. While it may be a large part of them, and while they may embrace the impact their disability has had on their life, they are just as complete of a person as any "typical" individual. When speaking about disabilities, try not to define a person by their disability. When speaking about disabilities, try to put the person first. This means using language like "person with a disability" rather than "disabled person." Or, for example, "This is my friend, Steve" rather than "...my autistic friend, Steve."
We find that Paraquad’s Words with Dignity pdf is an incredibly helpful guide for helping others understand what language is appropriate.
5. Use your voice
One of the most important things that an ally can do is use their own voice and privileges to amplify the voices of the individuals they are supporting. When you see an injustice being committed - use your voice! Stand up against discrimination and micro-aggressions when you see them. Help others understand the implications to injustices that they commit or prejudices they act on.
"If there is a disability rights protest, join in. If your district is trying to pass a bill, support it. Write or call your legislator to fix a problem."
- Paraquad
While it's undoubtedly important to speak up for those who are disabled, make sure that your voice isn't overpowering the people you're trying to help. In the end, the fight for equality isn't about you - and you need to remember that. As an ally, you are there to support others, not overpower or outshine them.
Learn more about being an effective ally
Being an ally is a lifelong undertaking. In order to become the best ally possible, it's important that you continuously educate yourself. Here are a few resources you can explore that can help you on your journey to being a powerful ally for people with disabilities: