May 12 this year was Mother’s Day. Around the country, moms were celebrated, treated and honored by their children and families. While it is nice to have a specific day of recognition, we believe moms should be celebrated all year round for each and every thing they do.
For the moms that we have connected with through W.A.G.S. 4 Kids, we recognize that their journeys are not as different from those journeys of other mothers, but there may be other paths to navigate. The experience of raising a child is full of joy, fear, humility, challenges, inspiration, exhaustion, and love. For a mother raising a child with special needs, that experience is only amplified and sometimes it takes a village. Their perseverance opens doors that were once closed for their child. They need to stand up to doctors, nurses, insurance companies, specialists, teachers and schools to advocate for their child and ensure they have access to the services they need. Using a personal touch, who else but mom could make a hospital room feel more like a home. These moms protect their children from ignorance and show them that they are worthy of dignity, respect, inclusion, and love. Overall, they love and give with all they can while being resilient and fierce.
Ultimately, a common goal for all moms is to raise their child to be the best they can be. They see their child’s full potential, and never give up. For the 15 years that W.A.G.S. 4 Kids has been placing mobility disability and autism service dogs with children, our W.A.G.S. moms have shared how their children’s lives have been changed, and that never gets old. Below are some experiences from W.A.G.S. moms about their hopes for their children, and how their children have been impacted.
Mom, Heather about her daughter, Lauren (hearing impairment):
“I noticed that because of her lack of hearing, her language and communication suffered making her withdraw from others – even me. It broke my heart. I wanted my child to have someone to talk to or read to without judgement; a safe, secure place to practice without fear of correction. Also, I wanted a friend for Lauren, a steady permanent friend, one that could always be there.”
After service dog Annie was placed with Lauren, she finally had that “friend for life” her mother was searching for. Heather also said small daily struggles like waking up in the morning and hair brushing, which was painful due to sensory processing issues, would often turn into fights. After time with Annie, those daily activities became much easier to manage, improving not only Lauren’s daily life, but her mom’s as well.
Heather, Lauren and Annie
Mom, Diane about her son, Kyle (mitochondrial disease):
“When you have a special needs child and especially one that cannot speak, you have to communicate through eye contact and facial expressions. So, to watch how Kyle's face lights up and to hear his laugh when Molly comes around him, can bring me to tears on a daily basis. There is no better gift to give a child than a fuzzy companion that will be there for them.”
Tears of joy are something mothers often experience while watching their children grow and learn. Diane was elated to see the joy in her son Kyle after service dog Molly became part of their family. Kyle was completely dependent on his mom Diane and the rest of his family, but service dog Molly provided the companionship he needed – along with some laughs!
Mom, Melissa about her son, Ryan (autism):
“Ryan is going to school this year with the assistance of Haywood. We are going places as a family (Cedar Point, canoeing, restaurants, etc). Everyone that knows Ryan, immediately sees the difference in his confidence. The change in him has been truly remarkable. Sure, he still struggles and probably always will, but with Haywood by his side we have hope for independence and the chance to be a kid.”
Going to school seems to be a very routine part of childhood, but for Ryan – and many other children – it can be a struggle. After service dog Haywood was partnered with Ryan, his mom was able to see her son’s confidence soar. She was also able to see him go off to school, a moment that can tug at a mom’s heartstrings, but also evoke pride in the person her child is growing to become.
Mom, Michaelle about her daughter, Kaitlynn (X2 balanced chromosome translocation):
“When you have special needs, there’s very different aspects per child, and you really need a service animal that fits the personality of the household. We are emergency all the time, one day it’s beautiful and in 5 minutes we could be in the E.R. so we needed a dog where we can just say ‘Jump in, go’ without worrying about it. Recently there was an emergency and we were in the E.R. They let me go back and it was chaotic. Wilson was with us and I was in such shock I just let go of the leash and he stood by Kaitlynn’s side through the noise, the bells, the screaming, and I forgot we had a dog. When everything settled down, he was right with her the whole time. I was in shock that he kept his cool through all the chaos. That was really my turning point where I loved him, but then I fell in love. It made me feel like he’s not only for Kaitlynn, but he’s for me, too. He’s providing that peace and comfort in the most chaotic situations.”
Michaelle found a sense of security as a mom that her daughter’s service dog Wilson would do exactly what she needed him to do, even in the most dire of situations. It was a relief for her to know that while she was experiencing an extremely stressful situation with Kaitlynn, Wilson never flinched and was able to focus on Kaitlynn and tune out everything else that was going on in the background. Michaelle was reassured that while Kaitlynn will always have her mom by her side, she will also have Wilson, which evokes comfort for everyone and is one less thing for Michaelle to worry about in an intense situation.
Kaitlynn, Michaelle and Wilson
Mom, Angela about her son, Jacob (autism):
“W.A.G.S. 4 Kids has helped us beyond just providing a service dog for our child. They have been a huge addition to our support system, answering any questions we may have or offering suggestions during times of struggle. Ryken does not fix everything for Jacob, and he still has difficult days. Some of those days leave us emotionally drained as parents. On those days, knowing W.A.G.S. 4 Kids is there for us, and they understand our daily struggles is comforting. It's also not just the WAGS employees, but the other WAGS families. Knowing we are not alone in this journey helps make it much less stressful.”
Angela saw improvements in her son Jacob after service dog Ryken was placed. One of the biggest factors that made a difference for Angela was having a support system of people that understood not only her son’s struggles, but her struggles as a parent as well. Special needs parents can often feel isolated, or that many people do not understand and can not relate to them. It is important to have a solid support system to guide you through the difficult times and cheer with you during the amazing times.
Ryken (left), Angela and Jacob
Mom, Colleen about her son, Devon (autism):
“Dylan has been such a blessing to Devon and our entire family. Devon's independence has increased. He keeps his room clean without reminders, takes care of personal hygiene and makes snacks without asking for assistance. We recently moved to a new home and Devon was a huge help. He not only packed his boxes, but helped with all the other packing. He moved boxes, even those too heavy for Mom, and helped with all the unpacking.”
Independence is something all moms hope their children gain as they grow. For children with disabilities, they grow and evolve in their own unique timeframe. After service dog Dylan was placed with teenager Devon, his mom Colleen noticed her son becoming more independent, and actually wanting to do things on his own. This growth was especially important as Devon’s neurotypical brothers were getting ready to go off to college, but Dylan ensures Devon still has a partner at home once they leave.
One thing is clear: through the eyes of a mother, nothing is better than seeing your child grow, advance, find inclusion, and overcome any challenges they may be facing. Today, this month, and every month we salute all moms, especially those who have let us become part of their lives and part of their family.
This Mother’s Day and beyond, we want you to remember: We hear you; we see you; we understand; we recognize that you are doing your best; we are proud of you; your heartaches are our heartaches; your celebrations are our celebrations; we send you lots of puppy love and you will always be a huge part of the W.A.G.S. 4 Kids family tree.